Tuesdays Michael gets picked up by the school bus at 9:15 (A time that has recently changed from 9:17. That bus runs like clockwork). In an ideal world after Michael got on the bus I would load up Elise and Patrick and we would head to the Y but this Tuesday that didn’t happen.
This Tuesday as I was waiting for Michael’s bus to turn the corner onto our street I got a phone call. It was HOM Furniture and they were 45 minutes ahead of schedule and would be at our home in 15 minutes.
I panicked for about 30 seconds and then just gave into the fact that I couldn’t leave the front lawn to run in a do a fast scramble clean. I thought I had 45 minutes to sweep up the breakfast grapes and cheerios and do a quick pick up. The house wasn’t a disaster but when you have a claims man coming to check out ruined furniture under warranty, you want to look like your house isn’t a circus. You want your house to look like you have control and that things like ripped open furniture cushions would never happen at a house like yours.
Wait? Haven’t I told you that story? I thought that I had… Yes I did. In the beginning of the coffee recipe post. But I don’t think I painted a true enough picture in that short description. Instead of me trying to write out how badly he ruined 3 cushions and an arm rest I will just let the pics tell the story.
So now that the pics have done the talking I am guessing you are understanding this tweet (covet should be cover) a little better! I knew it would be a shot in the dark but we haven’t had that couch for a year and I had to exhaust all options into how to get it fixed (for cheap!).
ARG PATRICK JAMES SHANNON Why must you destroy and act out to get attention?! Michael walks up to us and asks us to play when he is feeling neglected. Elise just screams at us until we pick her up. Patrick is too manipulative and vindictive for that. I don’t know at what point he thought, “I am going to climb up on mom’s desk chair, climb on top of her desk, reach into a tin can hanging on the wall and take her seam ripper. THEN and only then will I climb back down, walk (probably skip in glee) over to our new couch. Then I will stab the couch and “saw” open it open. That will get her attention!”
I don’t know about you but I think just screaming “MOM” or walking up the stairs and asking me to play would have been slightly easier.
I was able to sweep up the bulk of the Cheerios that Elise threw at Lucy in their morning game of “feed the dog, feed Elise, feed the dog, feed Elise” before the HOM Furniture man drove up.
I showed the man downstairs and pulled cushions out of the office where they have been stored for safety since the stabbing. I didn’t want Patrick getting any ideas about sheering the cushions or making it snow cushion fluff so I had to hide them.
The HOM man had the most wicked handlebar mustache and it was all I could do not to laugh at him whenever I looked him in the eyes. He asked if someone took a knife to the couch and I said honestly, “No. I don’t let me kids play with knives.” He was writing all this stuff down on an official clipboard and I couldn’t throw myself under the bus by telling him what really happened. If there is any chance of the insurance we bought paying for the damage Patrick caused, I couldn’t ruin it by telling the whole truth.
He left after taking a bunch of pics and writing down more incriminating photos. I am surprised he didn’t turn to Patrick and take a photo of him as circumstantial evidence.
After he collected all the evidence and headed out we loaded up to run some errands. I had some geeky new glasses to pick up!
Wow. So again all of that happened before 10am. Maybe this should be A week of mornings in the life….