Now that I am a day away from what I am going to call my moment of fear realized, I have a little more perspective and I can almost laugh about it. Yesterday I was fighting back tears.
As usual I had to wake up Elise from her sound sleep so I could load her and Michael in the car to pick Patrick up from school. I woke her up, changed her diaper and we headed downs stairs when Michael was supposed to be putting on his shoes. About 2 steps into my normal decent down the stairs I slipped or misstepped or something. This is what I have been afraid of since I was pregnant with Michael. Falling down the stairs while carrying a child, either in my belly or in my arms.
It all happened in slow motion.
My feet went out from under me and as that happened Elise flung forward. I hit the stairs hard right on my ass and started to slide fast down the stairs. Elise was still flying forward when I caught he feet right in my arm pit and reached up and caught her in the “colic carry” By then, I had stopped sliding down the stairs and I did exactly what you are not supposed to do after a kid falls. I pulled her in close and hugged her and it wasn’t until she grabbed on to me for dear life and snuggled in close (while screaming in terror) that the wave of adrenaline passed through me and I felt like I was going to vomit. You see, you are never supposed to pick a child up right after a fall or sudden unnatural movement (like being dropped down the stairs) until you have seen them move all 4 limbs and their head on their own. I have followed that rule with every spill or tumble my kids have made but this time I wasn’t thinking, only reacting.
Besides a fear that didn’t subside for at least ten minutes, Elise was fine. She clung to me tighter than ever before and wouldn’t let go until I bribed her with a piece of cheese. I would have held her close the rest of the day if we wouldn’t have had to load up and go get Patrick. Needless to say, she was not happy about being strapped into the car seat.
My ass hurts. I will spare you the photographic proof but there is a huge bruise. That bruise is what is helping me smile about the situation today. What a clumsy idiot. Do you know how hard you have to fall to bruise your ass?!
Elise is fine. I was shaken up for a while yesterday and today I am walking/waddling like I did at the end of all three pregnancies or the day after my 7K. And that makes me smile too.
I was always so scared to fall down stairs while carrying one of my babies. Now I know why. It sucks. It is scary for the child and probably even more scary for me.
So today I am starting the day with a little extra caffeine in hopes that I will have enough whereabouts to make it through the day with out a major misstep.
Target is still all on one level, right? We really need some milk and toothpaste!